How to write a good academic writing.

How to write a good academic writing.
The key features of academic writing:
Content
Organization
Language

Content (main Idea, supporting idea, examples, experience, evidence)
Organization (introduction, body, conclusion)
Language (Grammar, spelling, word choice)

One of the first steps you can take in academic writing is to brainstorm some ideas for your essay.

“Discuss the differences between the way of life in your country now and the way of life in the past”

The essay title asks you to describe some of the differences between life nowadays and life in the past in your country. Post some of your ideas for this essay title in the discussion below.

Don’t forget to comment on the ideas of others. Discussing the differences between the way of your life in your country now and the way of life in the past Well, if I were planning to write this essay, I would generate ideas in this way. I would write two columns with different headings.

One heading saying, nowadays, one heading saying, in the past. And I would write-- in terms of the UK-- nowadays, there are more cars, people want to make money and have busier lives.

There are more supermarkets, and there's a wide use of technology-- TVs, mobile phones, internet. And women often work outside the home.

In the past, though, there were fewer cars, people had more time to spend with each other, there are more individual shops with personal service, and people's lives were simpler.

Women often stayed at home and didn't have paid jobs. One of my students from South Korea had these ideas.

Nowadays, there is a strong IT industry and Korea is independent with a strong economy. South Korea also gives help to other countries.

In the past, though, the economy was mainly based on agriculture. And South Korea wasn't independent because other countries invaded.

Also, South Korea had to have help from richer countries. Of course, your ideas may have been different. You and I and the student from South Korea

Read and comment on Xiao's first attempt. The essay below was written by Xiao. Xiao was a student at the University of Reading who was new to academic writing.

w1

Try to identify the different ideas that Xiao has included. Discuss the differences between the way of life in your country now and the way of life in the past

I come from China. China is intresting country.
It have a long history. Now it develops very fast.
Before 70 year the war finish. People’s live is so hard,
Because they no money, no food, no light, no TV, no book.
But, they are work hard on the land.
In last 50 years, the government start a new building programme,
the people’s live improve day by day, China
opendthe door to the world,
Now we have a lot of
moden city. Just like Beijing, Shanghai.
Now many people live in China, play in China, work in China.
The number of people in cities is very large which make China have to build.
In the year of 2008, because the Olympic Games, thehole world’s eye on china.
In the future, I’m sure China will be beterthan today. China will always better than yesterday. Informal language. Should be They or passive voice

Xiao's second attempt

Some weeks later, after studying an academic writing course, Xiao attempted the same essay again.

w2

Read his second attempt below and think about how his essay has improved. Again, think about the development of his ideas, the organisation and the language.

 

Discuss the differences between the way of life in your country now and the way of life in the past

 

China is interesting country with a long history.  China is developing very fast nowadays through the government and people’s hard work. 

Many aspect of life have changed in the last fifty years, some change are good and some are bad.

China better than before.  This essay will explain changes in the country.Firstly, people’s standard of living is higher than before. 

People’s lives very bad after the Second World War. People were poor because the country was poor. There was no food, no electricity and it was hard to buy anything in shops. 

Because of no food, government had to make a rule, each person could only buy five kilos of rice per month.  In people’s homes, there was no television or telephone. Since those days, China has industrialised.

It has created jobs and opportunities for people in cities such as Shanghai and Beijing and increased building work, exports and profits.

China opened its doors to the world. The Olympic Games came to China in 2008. Nowadays, there is enough food for everyone, and families had comfortable homes, televisions, internet access, personal computers and mobile phones. 

People can buy anything they want in the shops. 

Other improvements happen in education and everyday behaviour.

In school, students are now learning English and modern ideas which come from other countries whereas in the past they spend time learning how to speak the old Chinese language. 

Teachers did not teach Science subjects in those days. There are new customs too.  For example, in the past, couples usually got married at home and wore red clothes but now they can marry in church and wear western-style clothes. 

Wives not usually had jobs, they worked at home, they always obeyed their husbands. They never said: ‘no’ when the man said: ‘yes’. 

But, nowadays, Chinese women can have important job and hold own opinion.There are some negative changes, such as the number of cigarette smokers has increased and children do not work as hard as before because their live are easy.

Both parents now work to have a good standard of living and they have no time to spend with family. It is clear that China change greatly over the last fifty years, and it will continue to improve.

 


Video transcript
Do you remember these comments, which Chaohua received in the feedback on her first draft?

She decided to go back to her original diagram and try to improve her essay based on these comments.
She expanded her diagram. 

Безымянный

For children learn languages more quickly, she decided to explain that they are good copiers of speech, and their first language does not interfere. 

For parents care about their children and want them to succeed, she decided to explain this in more detail. 

Parents love their children and want them to earn more money to help when they are older. Parents also want their children to be richer than they were.
She also decided to give some examples. In Shanghai, there are many new kindergartens. She thought perhaps she could give some numbers to support this.
She then wrote a new plan for her essay. For each paragraph, she divided it into a paragraph leader, some facts to support this, and some examples. 

Безымянный2

So for paragraph two, the paragraph leader would be, "children learn languages more quickly than adults." 

And then the fact to support this is that they are good copiers of adults, and their first language does not interfere with their learning. 

Then she decided to give the example that if a child lives in another country where three or four languages are spoken, he learns these languages very quickly.

For paragraph three, the paragraph leader would be, "parents care about their children and want them to succeed in life." 

The facts to support this would be that they love their children and want them to be rich and look after them when they're older. 

Parents want them to have a better life than they had. Another fact would be that they want them to

An example would be that there are many new kindergartens in Shanghai which have opened.

Chaohua then wrote the final draft of her essay, using this new improved plan. I would like you now to work on improving your essay based on the feedback you've received.

Main ideas and supporting evidence -- exercise. 


Test your understanding of main ideas and supporting evidence by completing this exercise. The answers are available on a separate sheet.

Read the sentences below. In each sentence, there is an idea which is supported by evidence.

Underline the main idea in red and the supporting evidence in blue to show how Xiao has developed his ideas.

Please note: these sentences were written by Xiao and as such may contain some mistakes.

1. People’s lives very bad after the Second World War. People were poor because the country was poor. There was no food, no electricity and it was hard to buy anything in shops.

2. Since those days, China has industrialised. It has created jobs and opportunities for people in cities such as Shanghai and Beijing and increased building work, exports and profits.

3. Other improvements happen in education and everyday behaviour. In school, students are now learning English and modern ideas which come from other countries whereas in the past they spend time learning how to speak the old Chinese language.

4. There are new customs too. For example, in the past, couples usually got married at home and wore red clothes but now they can marry in church and wear western clothes.

5. There are some negative changes, such as the number of cigarette smokers has increased and children do not work as hard as before because their live are easy.

Q 1 Which of the following are features of a good paragraph? There may be more than one correct answer.

Having more than one focus in the paragraph

Giving examples to support your points.

A link to the previous paragraph.

Q 2. How important is it to analyse the question very carefully to make sure it is being answered?

Extremely important – the question should be answered precisely.

Quite important – as long as the topic is covered the content is flexible.

Not very important – good writing is the most important thing.

Q3. Xiao’s second essay would be even better if:

Xiao talked about his personal experiences.

Xiao used some more emotional words.

Xiao had written a longer conclusion.

Q4 The first sentence of a paragraph should…

There may be more than one correct answer.

Connect to the previous paragraph.

Be long and complicated.

Summarise the topic of the paragraph.

Q5 Accurate grammar is important because:

It is embarrassing to make mistakes.

Academic writing should be perfect.

If there are a large number of errors, it is harder for the reader to understand your points.

Write your own paragraph Think about the essay title from this week: “Discuss the differences between the way of life in your country now and the way of life in the past”

Choose one idea of how life in your country now is different from the past.

Think of some examples or details to support your point. Write one paragraph about this change

Title ‘I need to copy this at the top of the page to show the reader what I was asked to write about.

 Introduction (background)‘I need to give the reader some general background about living in Reading, and then I’ll narrow the focus, and I’ll show the reader exactly which ‘reasons for choosing Reading’ I will discuss in my essay.’

Introduction (thesis statement)
Paragraph 1 (paragraph leader) ‘I need to tell the reader that this paragraph is about ‘lifestyle reasons’ and then I need to describe this more fully, using details, facts and examples.’

 Paragraph 1 (paragraph body)

 Paragraph 2 (paragraph leader) ‘I need to tell the reader that this paragraph is about ‘study reasons’ and then I need to describe this more fully, using details, facts and examples.’

 

 Paragraph 2 (paragraph body)

 

Conclusion (summary) ‘I need to remind the reader that I have explained about lifestyle choice and study reasons, and then, I’ll widen the focus, and I’ll make a prediction about whether Reading will continue to be popular in the future.’

 

Conclusion (future suggestion: a prediction, recommendation or solution)

 

Introduction

Background

·         Reading is a large town in south-east England with a population of 147,300. It is about halfway between London and Oxford. Some people were born in Reading, and they stay because of their family and friends. Other people, however, have relocated for personal reasons; perhaps they want to take up a new job opportunity or be near their social circle.

Thesis statement

      This essay will discuss two common reasons why some people choose to live in Reading: to improve the quality of their family lifeand to study.

       Paragraph 1

Paragraph leader

         Reading offers the opportunity for a good work-life balance.

Paragraph body

         It is only 25 minutes from London by train, but the environment is clean, houses are cheaper and  there are many leisure opportunities for  families. There are parks and pools in the town and the countryside is only a short car drive away. Shopping is also a growing attraction. The number of retail outlets has increased by one third since the opening of the ‘Oracle’, a new shopping complex, in 1999. The town also has a library, many places of worship, a theatre, a concert hall, an art gallery, a museum, two cinemas, a football stadium, and many restaurants. These facilities mean that local people of all ages have places to go.

         Paragraph 2

         Paragraph leader

         Many people also come to Reading to study at a language school or at the university.

         Paragraph body

         They may choose Reading because the university has an excellent reputation, a beautiful campus and offers a high level of support to its students. Alternatively, the reasons may be more practical. Transport is efficient; there is easy access to London and Heathrow Airport. Accommodation is fairly easy to find and cheaper than London. Job opportunities are also good. Many students take up part-time work, even if English is not their first language.

         Conclusion

         Summary

         In conclusion, people live in Reading for their own individual reasons. For some people, Reading represents a lifestyle choice, and for others it offers opportunities to study.

Future suggestion

The form of the present continuous. Look at the text below, which describes changes in the town of Bindeen. The examples of the present continuous are in bold.

Many changesare taking placein Bindeen at the moment.

The number of IT industriesis growingrapidly; foreign investment and tourismare also increasing.

More peopleare comingon holiday to Bindeen, whichis helpingthe economy.

For example, Bindeen earned £2.3 billion from tourism in 2013, and 8.2% of the adultsare now workingin the tourist industry.

Local teenagers like having a job in the summer holidays.

 

However, there are some negative changes. The cost of housingis increasingrapidly.

Also, many peopleare workinglonger hours andare spendingmore time travelling to work. You can also with more examples and notes on usage.

 

Compound sentences and linking words.
Look at the compound sentences below:

The government declared a ceasefire, but the army did not respect it.The institute needs to increase student fees, or cut the number of courses.The organization is currently offering to train people, and in certain situations it will pay their fees.The project has received more funding, so the research can continue until the end of the year

In the sentences above, the linking words have the following meanings:

but

to give contrasting information

or

to give an another possibility

and

to give additional information

so

to show a result

In the next step we’ll look at more complex sentences and how subordinators can be used in different ways to show relationships between the clauses.
Complex sentences and subordinatorsLook at the complex sentences below:

Although plastic bags are useful, they damage the environment.
When a country’s economy goes into a recession, exports decrease.
People moved from the countryside to the town because they needed to find work.
Stargazer fish live in the sand on the seabed whereas jelly fish swim in the sea.

In the sentences above, the subordinators have the following meanings:

 

Subordinator

Relationship between the clauses

although

to show something unexpected

when

to show time or sequence

because

to give a reason

whereas

to compare

 

Take the quiz in the next step to check your understanding of subordinators.

 

The majority of Business students come from China. 

Most of Sciences students come from Russia.

not many of Business students come from Brazil.

a few of Business students come from France.

nearly everyone of Arts and Humanities students come from India.

some of Business students come from Colombia.

not many of Arts and Humanities students come from Brazil.

 

         With its good employment prospects, ideal location, wide range of leisure facilities, interesting educational opportunities and excellent transport links, it will no doubt continue to be a popular place to live in the future.  

You can now read the essay on ‘Education in the UK’ in the correct order, with the essay parts shown.


Note:Remember, the headings below are only included to show you how the essay is organised.


Title

Discuss some of the changes which have taken place in the school system in the UK in the last 200 years.

Introduction

Background

In the UK, school attendance is now compulsory for children between the ages of 5 and 16.  Children attend primary school from 5 to 11 years of age, and then secondary school until they are at least 16 years old.  The modern state school system aims to treat all children in the same way and to give them all equal opportunities. However, the school system has not always been like this.

 

Thesis statement

This essay will discuss the key developments over the last 200 years, which have ensured that a school education is available to all children and is an  enjoyable and interesting experience.

 

Paragraph

1Paragraph leader

The school system has changed so all children have the right to an education.Paragraph bodyAt the beginning of the 19th century, only boys from rich families went to school. Girls from rich backgrounds were taught at home. Boys were taught Physical Education, English, Philosophy, Maths, Latin and Greek, whereas girls’ education focused on reading, writing, sewing, singing, dancing and French. This was because girls’ education involved preparation for marriage, running a home and entertaining whereas boys’ education aimed at preparing them for work: the army, perhaps, or a political life. Gradually, free state schools began to be provided for all children, and at the end of the 19th century, school became compulsory for all until the age of 13. This meant that all boys and girls, from rich or poor backgrounds, had the opportunity to learn to read and write. During the 20th century, the school leaving age was raised again. Girls and boys began to be treated more fairly; they could study the same subjects within the same classroom, and all children had the right to take the same exams.

 

Paragraph 2

Paragraph leader

Approaches to teaching have developed so that children participate more in their learning.Paragraph bodyUntil the second half of the 20th century, schools were traditional and strict  in their approach to learning.  Pupils sat in rows, they were not allowed to talk to each other during lessons, and corporal punishment was allowed; children were hit with slippers, rulers or canes by the teachers for not knowing the answers to questions, and they were encouraged to learn facts, stories and poems by memorizing and by copying from the board or from dictation. Gradually, teachers began to change the way they taught. Modern teaching methods are likely to include pair and group work, and children are encouraged to learn by discovering answers for themselves rather than constantly relying on the teacher.  Modern technology is widely used in classrooms.  Computers are available for children to use even in primary schools, and most schools now have fast access to the internet and use interactive resources and whiteboards in the classrooms. 

 

Conclusion.

Summary.

The school system has clearly improved in many ways since the 19th century.  Most importantly, children’s right to education no longer depends on gender or parental income, and greater educational opportunities are offered more widely to all. 

 

Future suggestion.

 

It is important that education continues to develop as society changes throughout the twenty-first century.

 

It is formal and impersonal. To write in a more formal, impersonal style we need to avoid using I, you and we.

 

Tokyo, the capital city of Japan, is located on the east coast of the country. The transport system is efficient.

People use their own cars instead of taking the bus, and as a result there is more air pollution.

In Bangkok there are traditional wooden houses along the river.

Diet is also changing. People are wealthier than a generation ago, and they now always have enough to eat.

They also understand more about which food is healthy, which means they eat more fish and chicken and less red meat than before.

There are more supermarkets now, so food shopping is easier.

That’s correct, well done!

This paragraph uses more general, impersonal language such as ‘people’ and ‘they’ instead of ‘you’, and ‘there are’ instead of ‘you can see’. This makes it more formal.

 

In generally students  have more friends than before

Most students find easy to make friends than before.

 

By using the plural form of the noun, the sentence refers to different cultures in general.

 

Choose the answer below that correctly fills the gap in this sentence:The cost of petrol is rising, _____ more people are using public transport to save money.

Początek formularza

so

but

Dół formularza

Choose the answer below that correctly fills the gap in this sentence:The government should decide whether to ban smoking completely, _____ allow people the freedom to choose to smoke if they want to.

Początek formularza

and

Or

_____ the economy declines, there is usually a rise in crime.

Początek formularza

Although

When

Crops may not be safe to eat _____ farmers are using too much insecticide.

because

whereas

Scotland is mountainous _____ Suffolk, in the South East of England, is very flat.

whereas

Because

 

Writing exercise

Now it’s your chance to do some writing. We would like you to write a paragraph about your home town.
You should try to focus on one aspect of your home town and write about it.
For example, you could write a paragraph about one of the following:

the way people spend their free time
the reasons why people live there
the changes that are happening
the reasons why people visit it.

You will be limited to 1200 characters (a character is a letter, punctuation mark or space). You should try to write a topic sentence at the start of your paragraph.
Remember to write in an impersonal style.
You might find it helpful to look back at the examples from this week or the two main body paragraphs from the essay about Reading in


the reasons why people visit Belarus.

         Reading is a large town in south-east England with a population of 147,300. It is about halfway between London and Oxford. Some people were born in Reading, and they stay because of their family and friends. Other people, however, have relocated for personal reasons; perhaps they want to take up a new job opportunity or be near their social circle. This essay will discuss two common reasons why some people choose to live in Reading: to improve the quality of their family life and to study.

        

        Reading offers the opportunity for a good work-life balance. It is only 25 minutes from London by train, but the environment is clean, houses are cheaper and there are many leisure opportunities for families. There are parks and pools in the town and the countryside is only a short car drive away. Shopping is also a growing attraction. The number of retail outlets has increased by one third since the opening of the ‘Oracle’, a new shopping complex, in 1999. The town also has a library, many places of worship, a theatre, a concert hall, an art gallery, a museum, two cinemas, a football stadium, and many restaurants. These facilities mean that local people of all ages have places to go.

       

      Many people also come to Reading to study at a language school or at the university. They may choose Reading because the university has an excellent reputation, a beautiful campus and offers a high level of support to its students. Alternatively, the reasons may be more practical. Transport is efficient; there is easy access to London and Heathrow Airport. Accommodation is fairly easy to find and cheaper than London. Job opportunities are also good. Many students take up part-time work, even if English is not their first language.

        

        In conclusion, people live in Reading for their own individual reasons. For some people, Reading represents a lifestyle choice, and for others it offers opportunities to study. With its good employment prospects, ideal location, wide range of leisure facilities, interesting educational opportunities and excellent transport links, it will no doubt continue to be a popular place to live in the future.

Title: the reasons why people visit Belarus.

Introduction

Background:

        Belarus is a beautiful country in west Europe, which is situated between Poland and Russia.

The population of Belarus is about 10 million.

It has a lot of places to worth visiting such as Mirsky castle that dates back to 16 century, another interesting place to visit is Brest Fortress, that tells people about the beginning of world war II. Nowadays Belarus is rapid developing country: industry, science, education and culture.

The universities of this republic opened doors for overseas abiturients.

The majorities of business, science and agriculture students come from African countries because the cost for education is reasonable cheap and of a good quality.

 

Thesis statement             

This essay will discuss two common reasons why people visit Belarus: to see the place of interests and to study.

  

Paragraph 1

Paragraph leader: Belarus is a country that attracts the people from all over the world to visit the place of interest.

 

Paragraph body:

It used to be called the country of castles and only 35-45 kilometers  separated one castle from another. Not many castles were restored for people to visit and acquaint with customs, traditions and culture of our ancestors. Nasvizh and Mirsky  are the terrific place to visit which show the way of living an traditions of the nobles. Moreover there are many historic places which tell people about the second world war. One of the most famous place is Brest Fortress which defended for month. People can touch reality of those events.

Paragraph 2

Paragraph leader

Many people come to Belarus to study at the universities.

Paragraph body: 

They may chose Belarus because the universities give high level of knowledge, have an excellent reputation and education is reasonable cheap. In addition there is easy access to the Airport, Minsk 2. Accommodation is fairly easy to find and not expensive.

     

Conclusion

Summary

In conclusion, people visit Belarus for their own personal reasons. For some people, Belarus is considered to be a splendid choice of spending their vocations; visiting sightseen, whereas others are offered splendid opportunities to study.

Future suggestion:

Having ideal nature resource, Belarus is believed to be the best place to improve one’s health  in various resorts in the nearest future.

         Reading is a large town in south-east England with a population of 147,300. It is about halfway between London and Oxford. Some people were born in Reading, and they stay because of their family and friends. Other people, however, have relocated for personal reasons; perhaps they want to take up a new job opportunity or be near their social circle. This essay will discuss two common reasons why some people choose to live in Reading: to improve the quality of their family life and to study.

         Reading offers the opportunity for a good work-life balance. It is only 25 minutes from London by train, but the environment is clean, houses are cheaper and there are many leisure opportunities for families. There are parks and pools in the town and the countryside is only a short car drive away. Shopping is also a growing attraction. The number of retail outlets has increased by one third since the opening of the ‘Oracle’, a new shopping complex, in 1999. The town also has a library, many places of worship, a theatre, a concert hall, an art gallery, a museum, two cinemas, a football stadium, and many restaurants. These facilities mean that local people of all ages have places to go.

         

         Many people also come to Reading to study at a language school or at the university. They may choose Reading because the university has an excellent reputation, a beautiful campus and offers a high level of support to its students. Alternatively, the reasons may be more practical. Transport is efficient; there is easy access to London and Heathrow Airport. Accommodation is fairly easy to find and cheaper than London. Job opportunities are also good. Many students take up part-time work, even if English is not their first language.

                  In conclusion, people live in Reading for their own individual reasons. For some people, Reading represents a lifestyle choice, and for others it offers opportunities to study. With its good employment prospects, ideal location, wide range of leisure facilities, interesting educational opportunities and excellent transport links, it will no doubt continue to be a popular place to live in the future.

 
You may like to print off a copy of the essay, or leave this page open in a tab or window as you will refer to it in the next steps.
Luke Section name Chaohua’s first draft Discuss the reasons why increasing numbers of young children are learning English early in China. The English language is the most preferred international language in the world. It is widely used to all kind of field. In Shanghai in China, most of primary school are begin to teach English and some children start to learn English in the kindergartens. It also have many language schools. The main reason for it popularity are considered below. Firstly, the majority of country use English as an official language. In international marketing all use English, including business, politics, science, arts and even education. In China, it is important for us to learn English because if you do well in English, you can get a good job far more than non-speaking English. Secondly, many linguists consider that young children are studying language better than adults. If a young child live in many different countries in childhood, he or she may speak 3 or 4 languages. Therefore, more and more young children start to learn English in kindergartens. Finally, most parents care for their children’s prospects. Think that their child should just study hard and be good at English to become successful. So in Shanghai in China it is very popular with studying English in kindergartens. More and more young children learning English far early. English is widely spoken at the moment. Young people good at English better than adult. I think there will be more people to study English in future. 231 words 
Summary What suggestions do you have for improving this essay?

Introduction

Chaohua needs to expand her introduction and bring more background information about young learners and China into it rather than just Shanghai. After all, her essay title asks her to discuss the situation with teaching young learners in China.

Paragraph 2

Chaohua needs to prove her belief that children learn languages more quickly than adults by giving some facts about this.

Paragraph 3

Chaohua has given some evidence that adults care for their children - because they want them to be successful. However, she needs to add more examples or facts about this.

Conclusion

Chaohua needs to improve her summing up.On the whole, Chaohua has organised her essay well into sections which make her ideas fairly easy to understand. However, she needs to write more words! Her essay is too short at 231 words. She needs to develop her ideas, and include more facts and examples as evidence in order to persuade her readers that her beliefs are correct.

 

Feedback Sheet on organisation and ideas

Write the title here:Introduction

·         Is there some general background to the title being answered?YES/NO

·         Is there a thesis statement which says what the purpose of the essay is?YES/NO


1st paragraph

·         Is there a paragraph leader for this paragraph?YES/NO

·         Are the ideas in this paragraph supported with evidence from background knowledge?YES/NO


2nd paragraph

·         Is there a paragraph leader to this paragraph?YES/NO

·         Are the ideas in this paragraph supported with evidence from background knowledge?YES/NO


3rd paragraph

·         Is there a paragraph leader to this paragraph?YES/NO

·         Are the ideas in this paragraph supported with evidence from background knowledge?YES/NO


Conclusion

·         Does the conclusion sum up the body paragraphs? ·         Does it end with a prediction or some advice for the future?


 

Summary What suggestions do you have for improving this essay?

 

The English language is the most preferred international language in the world. It is widely used to all kind of field. In Shanghai in China,most of primary school are taught English and some childrenstartto learn English in the kindergartens.There are also language schools. The main reason for it popularity are considered below. Firstly, the majority of countries use English as an official language. English is used in international marketing, including business, politics, science, arts and even education. In China, it is important for us to learn English because ifyouare good at English,youcan get a better job than the ones non-speaking English.
Secondly, many linguists consider that young children study language better than adults. If a young childlivein many different countries in childhood, he or she may speak 3 or 4 languages. Therefore, more and more young children start to learn English in kindergartens.Finally, most parents care for their children’s prospects. Think that their child should just study hard and be good at English to become successful. So in Shanghai in China it is very popular with studying English in kindergartens.More and more young childrenlearningEnglish far early. English is widely spoken at the moment. Young people good at English better than adult.I thinkthere will be more people to study English in future.

 

 

Feedback on language Audio transcript

Let's take a look at her first mistake. ‘Most of primary school are begin to teach English.’ This should be ‘most primary schools are beginning to teach English’. We don't need the ‘of’ with ‘most’. And ‘primary school’ should be plural, as she's referring to primary schools in general. Also, she's tried to use the present continuous, but you need I-N-G at the end: ‘are beginning’. Let's look at the next point. Chaohua wrote, ‘some children start to learn English’. But again, she's talking about a temporary situation or a changing situation, so she should have used the present continuous here. ‘Some children are starting to learn English’. In the next sentence, she wrote, ‘it also have many language schools’. But she should have put, ‘there are also many language schools’, as she's introducing a new idea. In the next paragraph, ‘the majority of country’ should be ‘the majority of countries’, as she's referring to more than one country. Below, she wrote, ‘if you do well in English, you can get a good job’. But as we saw before, it's better to use an impersonal style. For example, ‘if people do well in English, they can get a good job’. In her next paragraph, she wrote that ‘young children are studying language better than adults’. But here she should use the present simple, as she's referring to a permanent situation or a situation that is always true. Next, she wrote, ‘if a young child live in many different countries’. But the subject-verb agreement means that she should have written, ‘a young child lives in many different countries’, as she's just talking about one child. Later, she wrote, ‘more and more young children start to learn English’. But she's talking here about a changing situation, so she should use the present continuous. ‘More and more young children are starting to learn English.’ A beginner’s guide to writing in English for university study©University of Reading 2014 Friday, 03 October 2014 Page 2 In her conclusion, she wrote, ‘more and more young children learning English far early’. She needs the verb ‘to be’ here to form the present continuous correctly. ‘More and more young children are learning English’. Finally, she says, ‘I think there will be more people to study English in future’. As we saw, it's better to use an impersonal and objective style in academic writing. So she could omit ‘I think’ to make it more impersonal.

The reviewers will be asked to give you feedback on the following aspects of your assignment, so you should consider these when writing:

Does the introduction include some general background to the title? Is there a thesis statement?Is the topic focus of each paragraph clear? Are the ideas in each paragraph supported with details and examples?Does the conclusion sum up the main ideas of the essay? Is there a suggestion for the future (a recommendation or prediction or solution)?
Discuss the reasons why people visit Belarus.
Belarus is a beautiful country in west Europe, which is situated between Poland and Russia. The population of Belarus is about 10 million. It has a lot of places to worth visiting such as Mirsky castle that dates back to 16 century, another interesting place to visit is Brest Fortress, that tells people about the beginning of world war II. Nowadays Belarus is rapid developing country: industry, science, education and culture. The universities of this republic opened doors for overseas students. The majorities of business, science and agriculture students come from African countries because the cost for education is reasonable cheap and of a good quality. This country is rich in picturesque places such as Belavezhskaya Puscha is the only place where there is no human activities. This essay will discuss three common reasons why people visit Belarus: to see the place of interests, to study and to spend your vacation in the wildlife. First of all, Belarus is a beautiful country that attracts the people from all over the world to visit the place of interest. It used to be called the country of castles and only 35-45 kilometers  separated one castle from another. Not many castles were restored for people to visit and acquaint with customs, traditions and culture of our ancestors. For example, Nasvizh and Mirsky  are the terrific place to visit which show the way of living and traditions of the nobles. Moreover there are many historic places which tell people about the second world war. One of the most famous place is Brest Fortress which defended for month. People can touch reality of those events. Secondly, Many people come to Belarus to study at the universities. They may chose Belarus because the universities give high level of knowledge, have an excellent reputation and education is reasonable cheap. For example, the yearly studying payment fee is about a thousand and a half US dollars.  In addition there is easy access to the Airport, Minsk 2. Accommodation is fairly easy to find and not expensive about 400-500 dollars for rent per month. Finally, this country is worth visiting for people who want to spend their vocation in unforgettable place such as Belovezhskaya wild forest which is protected by state from any form of human activities. There are oaks 2000 years of age. In addition to it the visitors can watch all kinds of wild animals inhabitant Belarus forests, such as wolves, bears and bisons. There are a number of hotels and wooden huts with all conveniences, a restaurant where you can try Belarusian cuisines. In conclusion, people visit Belarus for their own personal reasons. For some people, Belarus is considered to be a splendid choice of spending their vocations; visiting sightseen, whereas others are offered splendid opportunities to study. For those who want to hunt or to watch the wildlife Belarus is a perfect place for it . Having ideal nature resource, this country is believed to be the best place to improve one’s health  in various resorts in the nearest future.

 

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